As Bud Light says, here we go...

When I was doing a daily radio show, I was often told that my opinions were offensive to women. Of course they are. Women have been riding the gravy train that is the American male for too long now, and guys don’t even know they’re being fleeced. I seriously don’t give a fuck about who I might be offending.

There is an entire nation of American males living in the closet right now, and I’m not talking about the gay males. Leykis 101 is about men being able to be honest about who we are and what we want, regardless of the consequences.

Just as many people play the race card to avoid honest discussions about the differences between the races, many women and their whiny supporters play the “sexism card” when it comes down to honest conversations about the differences between men and women.

Here are some basic truths we’re not supposed to talk about, and about which I will elaborate as we go:

• Men who know what they’re doing and who still have both balls date women specifically to get laid. We pretend to listen to their mindless shit in order to get laid, and the reality is that we don’t hear one word that they say until we penetrate them. That includes you, Sweetheart.
• Most straight American men hate eating in fancy restaurants, dancing, seeing any films about vampires or romantic comedies or watching tv shows featuring dancing or “stars”. More shit we put up to see a warm, wet pussy up close. Then, we’re forced to live in the closet pretending that we like this shit. We hate it. We also hate your birthday, your family, Valentine’s Day, Christmas (with you) or any other day when we are forced to produce. Get it?
• Water seeks its own level, and so do we. You think that it’s love, don’t you? In reality, men are with the hottest women we can afford. We are only with you because we can’t afford Megan Fox or Salma Hayek or any other hot chick you can name. Most men who are married would never admit to their wives that they would leave them in a heartbeat if they finally won the lottery, sold a hit sitcom to a major TV network, or hit upon an invention that changed the world. Don’t believe me? Walk down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills and note the number of “trophy wives” who frantically run from beauty salon to spa to clothing store trying to stave off being traded in again for the next newer, younger model.
• Women are with the richest man they can attract. The only reason you chose us is because Bill Gates is married and because George Clooney doesn’t frequent El Torito in Orange or TGIFriday’s in Manhattan looking for action. Most of you fuck or blow as many hot guys as you can, then settle down with a boring, predictable guy who comes home on time for dinner and who saves for retirement. Soon, you demean him for being boring and predictable. Then, you load up on the Cinnabons and Haagen-Dazs, gain 50 pounds, and cut your hair like a marine. Later, you cry because he looks at other women. Finally, when he stays out late working hard once too often to satisfy your Coach purse habit, you cheat on him because he is “too busy” or “never around”, suing him for as much alimony and child support as you can haul away. Next, you use some of that money to get a gym membership and buy enough new clothes to tart yourself up so you can attract the next victim. I’m talking about you, Miss America. Our goal as men is to never be that boring, predictable guy, but to be the guy about whom you complain to that boring, predictable guy who does nothing for you but sires your children and pays your bills.
• Children are an annuity for many women. Get him to crank one out with you, and you can hound him for money and attention forever. I just talked a guy through the pregnant result of having sex with a “10” without a condom. She had told him that, if she ever got pregnant, she would abort. What a fool he was for believing that! When she got pregnant, she tortured this guy until I got him to convince her that all she would get was the money she was legally owed, but not any kind of a relationship…that she would be raising the child on her own. When she finally calmed down, she made the appointment at the abortion clinic. However, I’m convinced that once her pussy stops hurting from having his miserable, hopeless, ruined future vacuumed out of her cunt that he will once again be stupid enough to fuck her. And next time, he’ll have no way out.
• The only reason you gals ask us if you look fat in that dress is because you know that you do. We know that you look fat in that dress too. If the house wasn't underwater, we'd be out of there already.

If my tone offends you or if you are horrified by my content, that is the wonderful thing about the Internet. Log out and never, ever come back again. But you can’t help yourself. You will read every word I say on a regular basis, and you’ll tell others how horrible I am. And they will do the same…until there is an army of angry, chunky golddiggers like yourself clamoring for my head. But why would I give head to an angry, chunky golddigger?

Men, your wife and your girlfriend can’t see what you’re reading right now. Don’t let them in on it. Consider Leykis101.com your refuge from the ballbusting, screaming, whining and demanding that you put up with every day for reasons you can’t even remember. Remember that every two days that you delay getting your divorce, by law in many states, you owe her another day of alimony. I am here to be your Rock of Gibraltar.

I am your Professor, and this is now my classroom.