One Good Reason For Not Automatically Respecting All Women? Two Words: Royal Wedding

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you know that Britain’s Prince William & someone most of us have never heard of (and have no reason for knowing about) named Catherine Middleton are getting married in an uproariously expensive taxpayer-funded service being broadcast in the United States in the middle of the fucking night by just about every broadcast and cable network there is.

In view of the fact that the United States was born of a late 18th Century revolution culminating in the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776 which rejected the oligarchies of Europe and specifically the monarchy of Great Britain, one wonders which red-blooded Americans would watch a so-called “Royal Wedding.”

The answer is simple: average empty-headed American vaginas will be watching by the bucketload. Not that most of them have ever picked up a history book anyway.

That’s right: the founders of our country gave their lives kicking out the British monarchy so that today’s stupid twats could get up in the middle of the night and watch a “Royal Wedding.”

The hours of breathless coverage by TV shows such as Good Morning America and Today is positively mind-numbing. Pinch me: did I see that dusty old cooch Jane Seymour flying over the English countryside in a balloon giving a guided tour on Entertainment Tonight? Kill me now.

It’s very hard to take women seriously knowing that they give a shit about stuff like this. We live in a country where unemployment still hovers around 9%, we’re fighting three wars at the same time, and we went broke a long time ago. There’s an awful lot of stuff on our plates that needs our immediate attention, but the dirty little secret of network and cable news is that the little ladies don’t give two shits about any of that. The way to get the ladies to tune in to “the news” (and yes, I put that in quotes on purpose) is to give them what they really want: the fantasy that one day they will come out of the Cinnabon or the Starbucks or TJ Maxx and be confronted by Prince Charming who will whisk them off to Buckingham Palace and give them a fairy tale “Royal Wedding”.  The ladies love knowing that Middleton is a so-called “commoner” whose parents were mere flight attendants, thereby reinforcing the notion that they too can meet royalty, then becoming a permanently-entitled golddigger revered by similar empty-headed cunts around the world.

Gotta love those fairy tale endings! Like that last one. So romantic! Remember girls? After the “Royal Wedding”, Prince Charles and Princess Diana lived happily ever after. Until Charles asked his mistress, Camilla Parker Bowles, if he could be “the tampon in her trousers.” Then, Diana divorced Charles and dated someone from the no-fly list whose chauffeur drove a little too fast. Uh-oh! Splat! Happily ever after, right gals?

How in the world can you expect men to take you seriously when this is so important to so many of you girls?

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royal wedding

I love you Tom! Always have, always will! You speak the truth and have edged out Reno 911 in my playbook. No feminine commentary on your site? 'Nuff said (and no, I'm not gay)

The Royal Wedding

You've been there, right to all the palaces? I have and did the tour of the palace occupied currently by The Royals. You know how dramatic the circle and roadway, leading up to Buckingham Palace is, very ostentatious.

. I was under the impression that the bride came from a very wealthy family. She was after all in a posh college where she met the Prince. A commoner does not mean poor, it means no blood line. The Royals are all about blood.

My theory, ahh hummm that which I call my own, my theory, that is, it is my theory, my own theory, which is mine, is that women do not occupy every 2.5 seconds thinking about sex and therefore have more time to speculate about such silly things that of which men would never care. Silly things that have no meaning such as multi millionaire 20 something’s running up and down a hardwood court to see if they can get a ball in a basket and become world champs even though only American teams participate. Yea, you know, like we are really at 17% unemployment (16.3 to be trivial) when the numbers are not worked over for reelection but who is counting anyway? Of course being a CNN watcher you never get the truth on those numbers. You OBAMABOT.

Men they don't park and watch football all day, every Sunday, when the seasons on, God forbid one try to clean up while the games are on. Right Tom? Only cunts waste their time with mindless, worthless, stuff that really affects nothing, and no one of importance.

I watched the wedding recap and I must say the totally best part was when they went out, after the ceremony, on to the terrace for the first public kiss, and the whole circle and as far as one could see down the 4 lane major highway into Buckingham Palace was wall to wall people celebrating their Prince and new Princesses wedding, the new Princesses looked at the masses, her plump, glossed lips fell open and her face was stunned, almost fearful, it was that moment, it hit her, she was now A Royal, and just what that meant. A moment I will never forget. It was not since the Beatles came to America in 1964 that I had seen that look, all these people care about, me? You know the feeling. I saw a video tape of you in a limo outside a bar in the great northwest, and the line was wrapped around the bar twice. You were saying something like holly mother of god only more profane. That feeling you had, multiplied by the power of a few million that was what the Bride felt, the look was priceless.

The Royal Wedding

Exactly, Tom -- These people did nothing for their fame and fortune except to get born into it, or to marry someone who was born into it. Any money, jet fuel or airtime wasted by American TV networks covering this farce is almost criminal.

Ask the Professor Topic

I know this is off topic, but it has been really slow on the site for news. Professor, will you write a story about this BBC article?

Why is the word 'slut' so powerful?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13333013

Escape

The thing that bugs me the most about how its flat out escapism. As Tom said, we have plenty of issues going on in the world, and to even justify this wedding by saying it "instills hope" (newscaster quote) into our otherwise dreary world is just ludicrous. These newscasters paint the world as bad as they can, and when you are dealing with facts of national affairs, its simply not right for them to promote this sensationalism. At the end of the day, the people that follow it are just saps that don't mind suckling the teat of what the latest polls say they probably would enjoy. We shut off our TVs and go back to our lives wishing it were something like what we were just spoonfed but when the going gets tough, we resort back to good ol' television, that soothes the pain away. I don't know who to point the finger to; the people that determine the demographics or the demographics themselves.

Booted the brits out

When asked if I was interested in the "royal wedding", my answer is no. We booted those Brits out of here over 230 years ago. I don't give a rip about British royalty. Never have cared. Never will care.

Tom Carried water for Obama in 2008!!!

So Tom, talking about the revolutionary war, 1776, kicking the Brits out, one would figure your an American Patriot.. Well in 2008 a huge portion of your radio show was in support of Obama...So hows that working out for you?? You also said "Ron Paul would never win." Guess what, your going to eat your words this comming election. He's #1 in most of the current polls, also has won the CPAC the last 2 years. I hope you start your show next April supporting Ron Paul.. From your politics you've stated on your radio show, you tend to agree with him...It's time for you to back him bro when the time comes!!! Can't wait for April when your back on the air!! I saw you on Fox Business a few months ago..HAHA, the hot chick was eyeing you!! Go Tom!!

Ha!

Check your meds, bro. Ron Paul is staying right where he is -- nowhere. And unless the GOP finds a way to bring Reagan back from the dead, Obama will be easily re-elected. And Tom and I will have a nice chuckle at your expense -- again.

Another Reason!

Another Reason why they spewed out the Royal Wedding in LA so much was because they didn't want the people of Los Angeles to sit & reflect on what had happened on that same day of April 29th 19 years before, and that it was the 19th Anniversary of the Los Angeles Uprising!

Prince William, just another Pathetic Dude!

Prince William is just another pathetic dude, of course the fact that Kate Middleton is 6 months older than her & therefore in precisely 8 months & 12 days she will be be celebrating her expiration date -- is an indicator that she will be treating him like a straight ditch because she had a gold digging agenda all along.

I don't know for how long they were in a relationship, but Prince William being who he is & being one of the most desirable men on the planet should have known that He can get any woman in his life he wants to. And on top of that he had absolutely no reason to be in a relationship, not with someone older & not with anyone during his younger years.

Guys never be in a relationship with a woman older than you, because it never works out, and she's bound to treat you like a straight ditch because she think because she's older than you & she beleives the myth that women are 7 years more mature than their age, therefore she will be in this grand dilusion that she is at least 7 years plus whatever age difference you have is older than you. Plus you have to remember men age like wine, women if they are white age like milk, or if they are colored age like cars! Her youth is her dowry to you & if she's older than you, you know it's not gonna last that long.

Never marry a woman who is older than you, women who are hot but older than you are nothing but booty calls! And you need to becareful because they will want to get themselves knocked up by you, because their baby fever is pitch high.

Lastly I know at least he followd one Leykis-101 rule of not exchanging his wedding vows with a woman whose past her expiration date on the day of the wedding. But He shold not be exchanging wedding vows with a woman so close to her expiration date either.

Of course it doesn't help that he never exactly had that great of an example of a man before him to teach him on what getting women is all about -- Prince Charles who decided to trade up his own hot wife - Diana - for older crappier more dried up hag like Camilla??????? Jesus!

Spot on TOM

Damn this is exactly what I needed to hear today! In the office where I work today I had to hear all of the fugly american woman going on and on about this fucking royal wedding. Why do these bitches care??!! Its all the fucking walt disney princess bullshit of the last few decades, giving these ho's a chance to live this fantasy vicarously through Kate. Give me a break. Matter fact, BLOW ME UP TOM!

fertilizer

if this doesn't make us realize that most females are fertilizer without the beneficial uses then nothing will. guess i'll watch the draft.

Kettle calling the pot black...

And yet there's so much coverage given to professional sports on a daily basis because that's what the average man wants.

Maybe, instead of being obsessed with the potential NFL lock-out (Oh no!! The pro football season might not start before the professional baseball season ends!!! We might actually have to survive a weekend without a professional sport to obsess over!!!), the average shriveled penis should focus on something that actually matters.

A royal wedding is like watching the red carpet at the Oscars, except it happens only once every few years and it's on a more global scale. Besides, women wouldn't obsess over weddings in general so much if it wasn't more or less the ONLY good thing about being stuck with the old ball and chain (i.e. a deadbeat husband who treats them like a servant or worse).

Zat so?

First of all, sugar, attacking penis size is a juvenile gesture. It is one of the four ways a woman will attack a man: Small penis, insult his mother, question his sexuality, and attack his past relationships. Come on girls, let's see some originality here. And perhaps it wouldn't be so shriveled if ya hit the treadmill every now and again, maybe attempted to look attractive and stretch that bad boy out? I dunno, it's just an idea.

Secondly, the NFL lockout discussions are actually much more lively than "her dress is so pretty." In order to be able to discuss the situation, you need to have at least surface knowledge of the business of the game. You must be aware of each club's ownership, sponsors, funding, average attendance, payroll, and a myriad of other things that fawning over a wedding dress simply does not require. You need to be a business man to discuss the NFL lockout. You need a diary with unicorn stickers to play pretend princess.

Besides, I'm from Detroit. I don't give a shit if the Lions don't play. They haven't played for the past two years.

Thirdly, the Oscars are more global than a wedding of the English House of Windsor. See, actors and directors come from all across the globe, and are all honored at the same event for rising to the top of their craft. The films made by these ladies and gentlemen are seen around the world, filmed around the world. The English Royal Wedding matters to the English and the English only. And quite frankly, having studied in England during my college years, most of them don't give a shit. Well, the men anyway.

And no man watches the red carpet. Men will watch the Oscars actually being awarded, but we don't give a shit who is wearing what. The men are wearing some boss tuxes, and the women spent way to much on a dress they'll wear once. There. See? No need to watch, I already know what happened.

Fourth, if the only good thing about being married is the wedding, why get married? I mean, are you so desperate for an emotionally masturbatory party that you'd be willing to spend the rest of your life with the guy who pays for it? That is sad. Besides, you could always get divorced, and then you could go out and find your own little prince. Or not, if you've already broken thirty. And, not to beat a dead horse here, but it is good to keep in mind who chose this loser deadbeat. You did, sugar. You picked him. Over every other man (you could get) you said "he is the one to have and to hold until death do us part." To borrow from Tom, you chose a deadbeat loser because, for reasons that don't make sense, you swore up and down that you were going to change him. You had this marriage all planned out. Well, if you listened to Tom, you would know that you can't change people. It just doesn't work. You chose the bad boy instead of the nice guy. And the bad boy was a far better boyfriend than the nice guy, but the bad boy makes for a pretty shit husband. What, you thought some flower petals and champagne was going to clean him up? Please. If it sucks being married to him, walk away. If you won't, your misery is YOUR fault (kinda like marrying the guy to begin with.)

In conclusion, hush. Here, have some sequins and rhinestones. Go play.

And Tom, welcome back. I have been as a prophet for you, preaching your gospel and your eventual return. Well, the seventh seal just broke, motherfucker.

~ Chris

Total. Ownage.

No woman will ever write anything so intelligent and articulate. They've had thousands of years to become civilized and they have not done so and will never do so. Thank you for your ass-beating rebuttal, it made my day and I'm willing to bet it makes the day of men everywhere. It is time for more men to stand up to disrespectful bitch behavior (from vaginas and manginas).

Reply to Chris

You must have graduated 101 cause you sure are an asshole!

Thank You!

I'll wear that one with pride, for nice guys don't get laid.

Nail Meet Hammer

Right on point, Dad. I know a few dummies who are changing their sleep and/or work schedules just to witness this "event" in its entirety.

PIECE OF SHIT!

I cant believe people still support all of this piece of shit. Monarchys are symbols of oppression. Instead of marrying, they should be killed by the guillutin on live television.

Pancho Villa

Perfect

Perfect. What to add? Can't think of a thing. I check this site every few days excited that it is a few days closer to the professor coming back to fill us with knowledge every weekday on the air.

Perfect

Perfectly said Professor!!! Perfectly!!!

Le sigh.

Don't be stupid and paint all women with the same brush, I hate this wedding BS on TV. We separated from England for a reason - the monarchy is only good for two things:

-The Prince's
-The history behind it all.

Clearly the MEDIA thinks that women like it, but ugh. The ones that do like it are vapid and have nothing else on their minds.

(Love you, Dad. <3)

"Clearly the MEDIA thinks

"Clearly the MEDIA thinks that women like it, but ugh."
No, the media KNOWS that women like it. Even if not all women care, it sure as shit aint for guys. There are plenty of women who like it. The media is just playing to its audience.

Thank You!

Exactly! This chicks like most chicks is just another reason why not to respect women automatically, it seems as though what the professor said went by the way side, and took what the professor said personally. Maybe she likes it, but just to get a little attention she comes out saying what she says, because why else would she get offended by what the professor says.
Most Americunt Skkkankkks like watching this crap, it panders to their gold diggin attitude, even if you claim you don't, and .... LOL... was I the only one to notice this but she never bothered to deny anything about women coming out of the Cinnibon, Starbucks, TJ Max & stuff!

Well said.

You said it perfectly. I have nothing to add.

Best thing I've read all day

"...average empty-headed American vaginas will be watching by the bucketload." I read this line at work and laughed so hard they heard me all the way down the hall.