Men: Better Long-Term Investment Than Women

One of the great things about being a man is knowing that, like a great stock, our value continues to rise with time. At the same time, like many stocks the last couple of years, a woman's value declines with time. You can write and complain all you want ladies, but you know it's true, and all the Oil of Olay and Pilates balls in the world aren't going to change this.

This is one of the reasons I recommend that men avoid jumping into serious relationships. No matter how hot you think she is, just wait, gentlemen. In the future, if you continue on your career path and work hard without distractions (like supporting her and her various needs), you will get hotter, younger chicks than what you're getting now. And not having to pay her expenses is one way you can conserve your resources so you can pay for tuition, books, save, invest in a business or in stocks and bonds, buy a home that you alone will own, etc.

One way she will expect you to show her love is to buy her shit that will deplete your bank account and, frankly, in which she will lose interest with time such as flowers or clothing which will go out of style in, say, 12 hours. Why waste your hard-earned money when better chicks are on the horizon?

Many young men feel so lucky the first time a halfway-decent chick pays any attention to them and they try to lock her in without considering what will happen if they just wait a few years. Can you do this without my looking over your shoulder all the time? Do you need a rule of thumb that will make it easy for you to know when, if ever, you can finally "settle down" with one of these broads? I'll keep it simple:

Your future ex-wife hasn't even been born yet.

That's right. If you are 21, you are too young to get married or move in with anyone because when you have more money and success (no matter how much or how little money and success you end up with, it will be more than you have today), the younger, hotter chicks that you can't get now will be coming your way. And today's hot chicks who ignore you are tomorrow's dried-up has-beens. You want to get with their daughters, not them. Your goal is to be 42 and be with a 20-year-old. And, you see? If you are 21, you have to wait until she is conceived, born, and grows up, and that process hasn't even begun for the chick you want to end up with yet.

Don't marry or move in with anything or anyone until then because living with chicks costs you money and time. They usually want to have children which will require you to pay (or hide from the law) forever. If you insist on having children, you have years of fucking around and building up your career and traveling to get in before you do that. And, unlike chicks who, if they wait too long, can produce nothing but tards (think Sarah Palin) and then run out of eggs around your mom's age, you can start having kids any time you like. We are living until an average of 82 these days, so what's the rush to begin procreating or having unnecessary responsibilities?

What will you do in the meantime? You will bang chicks your own age when they're available, but you will avoid commitment or emotional feelings. When you feel yourself starting to care about a chick, you will have the discipline to ice her and move on to the next victim. You will bang older chicks who, in some delusional way, think of themselves as cougars or such. You will avoid having anyone move into your place, even as a temporary measure while they "look for a place," etc. You will only pay for things that improve your own standing such as college tuition, books, savings and investments. You will not buy gifts, flowers, teddy bears, cars, cell phones, clothing, or anything for a chick that improves her standing at the expense of yours.

Today is the day you will start. Keep Your Professor informed on your progress.